40 is 40

In what follows, I’m responding to an article arguing that 40 used to be middle aged but that’s no longer the case.

For the millennial generation, the goal posts have kept moving.

In more recent times, people have been saying things like 60 is the new 40 and 40 is the new 20 (or whatever) and often, too, that 80 is still 80.

I’m going to push back on this narrative that 40 is not middle age when, statistically, it very much is.

In the U.S., we’ve actually lost a few years of overall longevity in recent times; however, even this is secondary. The real issue is the excessive focus on lifespan vs. healthspan.

All the “maxxing” and hyper-focus on self-optimization has resulted in narratives about what living “your best life” can and should look like.

40 is 40 for many reasons. Yes, it is the “rush hour of life” and, oftentimes, these days, the “sandwich generation”. It’s also biologically a point in which people with uteruses are at a higher risk for pregnancy and, as the child of older parents, I know firsthand this results in a very different narrative for children than younger parents.

Younger parents might say something like, “I grew up alongside my children.” Older parents, on the other hand, are not engaged in society in the same way. Why? Partially because Western society prizes youth and, given this, caters to the 18-34 category. This is heavily driven by consumer-capitalist society in which the nation’s economics relies on a high degree of consumer spending to fuel the economy. In the U.S., it’s often noted that consumer spending accounts for about 70% of GDP. (Though, GDP itself is a frustrating metric.)

40 is 40 not because millennials aren’t able to afford houses or afford bringing a child from 0-18 in a way that feels morally and ethically appropriate. That’s not the biology. That’s environmental and situational.

The argument that 40 is “prime time” has something to it. People in their 40s are more likely to feel settled in certain respects of their selfhood, identity, personality. They’ve probably already been through a couple life crises. Rumor has it that they’re still in for more of them. Ideally, we never stop growing, remain open and receptive, and so change and becoming are expectations.

It’s been pointed out that people need to periodically update their will and last rites because 20-something you or 40-something you will not have the same value set of what constitutes a “good life” as 60-something you or 80-something you. This is true. This is undeniable. What is sad is the person who remains so static that their 20-year-old self was able to prophesize precisely what their 80-year-old self would believe and desire.